Sesudah meminum 1 galon air w baru ngerasa betapa segarnya air...betapa jiwa ini haus akan kesegaran. ("Napa lo???udah akut ya dehidrasi lo ampe stadium akhir kaya gito???")... Setelah sekian lama w ga ngerasa comfort ma semua ni...!! selama 4 tahun ni... hmmph...darimana...dimana w harus mengakhiri semuanya...??
Sesak banget merasa terikat ma tali transparan meski transparan tapi kuat banget..knapa???betah banget lo di ikat2 kaya gito mang lo bayam pa???pake di ikat segala....!!! w ngerasa guilty banget ma smua yg dekat ma w...,humilate...and ga da apa2 nya..!!seakan tong kosong nyaring bunyinya..!! apa penyebabnya??...lo lebih baik ga tanya dah...cause w ga sanggup tuk tulis tu semua...apalagi menjadi suatu rangkaian yang bisa lo maknai...!!.lo mo tau apa yang udah w lakuin???yakin lo??'terkutuaak' banget...(udah banget berapa kali)??
W benci banget ma sosok yang berdiri di hadapan w,saat w ngaca...!!! so innocent...w muak ma tampang tu!! huuuffh...w benar-benar cape ma tingkah tolol tu!! selama bertahun-tahun lo ma w dah ngulum sesuatu yang ga jelaz,ga da artinya..yang ga patut di perbincangkan..!! yang hanya bisa nimbulin "accidents and dissapointment"...sorry..w mo mundur ajah kali ye??mang bisa gitu w lupain semua...???hahahh...w hanya bisa andalin wajah manis so innocent w..!! gitu kan??? w ga bisa jalani ni semua..yang w butuhin sekarang hanya supports dari orang2 yang bener ngertiin posisi w yang ga jelas kemana bermuaranya...yes..i lost my way..!! I dont know what i'm feelin' i just want back to childhood..!! gimana bisa w kembaliin waktu yang udah w buang percuma..?? apalagi dengan problem yang udah w tuai...??w ceroboh,naughty...!! Ya udah..w telantarin lo sejenak...coz to be honest i'm the real weird..,such a fool and sadist..i dont have this fu**kin' feelin anymore....i'm only lied to u,but remember..i'm not a liar...just won't make a promise coz i won't keep it...so tell me how could i??akkhhh...confused..!! w harus nge'stopin ni semua before it's too late..but once again how could i??? i dont have any good words to end and solves it...!! i dont wanna hurts u,them,me and especially my self...(that's my ego)
W udah nyobain adaptasi tapi lama2 yang w rasain hanya kesepian yang menggelayut di dinding aorta w..!! coba bayangin gimana rasanya di posisi w...terikat dalam jalinan yang ga beresensi buat w,.....kasian???jangan...jangan kasian ma w...kata" tu hanya buat w semakin terpuruk in d' black hole..nambah banget rasa bersalah w,coz basicnya dari kata kasihan tu lah awal dari semua ni..!! so i decided ,i forced to save about u in my empty pocket....i did it...so please dont ask me why....cause i dont have the reasons... I treat u like he treats me as well.i'm not imitation my past but i'm also according to sample it.sorry i dont mean it..... and u should have know that i'm not a marbel,alabaster or anything else..so please dont think that i'm holy one's in ur imagine...!! it's made me so angry for more...!!! it's was so difficult when i tried to say "dear...how have u been doin??u know dear... i hate this relationship.." for me,it's likes to solve physics question with used to algeber formula...hhaha....too much...!!
WELL....Bener banget..buat w,kalo bisa w analogikan...seperti mencoba menyelesaikan soal fisika yang g w ngerti dari dulu dengan ngegunain rumus aljabar..!!! nah loh..gimana bisa???hanya orang bego ajah yang nemu jawabannya..w c' ga begitu bego amat...w cuma so innocent dikit,...ingat dikit kok..tu pun dalam situasi tertentu...!!! Raii...what's the problem???i really unknown what's goin on to u....why it's that sad lookin' in ur eyes..??hmmph...this time i realize that i'm not a good person...why????is everybody perfects raii???absolutely...no...!!! some people pernah nglakuin kesalahan yang sama kok,bahkan mungkin lebih fatal dari yang lo lakuin... be calm...it's natural kok..!!! But somehow....pardon me ma'am....i didn't carry out my duty(as a daughter) the way i should... i regreted....i know i had a large sins...here my confession..
W pecundang kan??? w hanya bisa ngaku disini ajah...itupun w ga berani ungkapin semua,malah ga jelas kan??lo juga ga ngerti kan what i'm tryin' to say???hahahhh..pa lagi w??w hanya pengen tulis...w ga peduli akh..lo semua pada mo ngerti ato ga juga...yang penting w udah tulis pa yang pengen w tulis...!!...w ngerasa di bodohi ma gairah sesaat z....di telanjangi ma kelakuan w yang memalukan..ooouh.......!!!
my big enemies is my silliness.i hate all the way about stupidity..but why i'm playing with it???dan w benci da disini...terbujur kaku dalam sudut-sudut bisu.May be i'd better to leave this fuckin place before to vomit up my junk food.so i'm running to lookin' for my self.who am i???i said....i am???what i'm thinkin'...dan w harap w bisa menjadi pemberani kaya w yang dulu mirip ma saILOrmOOn...huhuuu....
Gusti.....dear God....show me a good way for my own.....
rainame24
Sesak banget merasa terikat ma tali transparan meski transparan tapi kuat banget..knapa???betah banget lo di ikat2 kaya gito mang lo bayam pa???pake di ikat segala....!!! w ngerasa guilty banget ma smua yg dekat ma w...,humilate...and ga da apa2 nya..!!seakan tong kosong nyaring bunyinya..!! apa penyebabnya??...lo lebih baik ga tanya dah...cause w ga sanggup tuk tulis tu semua...apalagi menjadi suatu rangkaian yang bisa lo maknai...!!.lo mo tau apa yang udah w lakuin???yakin lo??'terkutuaak' banget...(udah banget berapa kali)??
W benci banget ma sosok yang berdiri di hadapan w,saat w ngaca...!!! so innocent...w muak ma tampang tu!! huuuffh...w benar-benar cape ma tingkah tolol tu!! selama bertahun-tahun lo ma w dah ngulum sesuatu yang ga jelaz,ga da artinya..yang ga patut di perbincangkan..!! yang hanya bisa nimbulin "accidents and dissapointment"...sorry..w mo mundur ajah kali ye??mang bisa gitu w lupain semua...???hahahh...w hanya bisa andalin wajah manis so innocent w..!! gitu kan??? w ga bisa jalani ni semua..yang w butuhin sekarang hanya supports dari orang2 yang bener ngertiin posisi w yang ga jelas kemana bermuaranya...yes..i lost my way..!! I dont know what i'm feelin' i just want back to childhood..!! gimana bisa w kembaliin waktu yang udah w buang percuma..?? apalagi dengan problem yang udah w tuai...??w ceroboh,naughty...!! Ya udah..w telantarin lo sejenak...coz to be honest i'm the real weird..,such a fool and sadist..i dont have this fu**kin' feelin anymore....i'm only lied to u,but remember..i'm not a liar...just won't make a promise coz i won't keep it...so tell me how could i??akkhhh...confused..!! w harus nge'stopin ni semua before it's too late..but once again how could i??? i dont have any good words to end and solves it...!! i dont wanna hurts u,them,me and especially my self...(that's my ego)
W udah nyobain adaptasi tapi lama2 yang w rasain hanya kesepian yang menggelayut di dinding aorta w..!! coba bayangin gimana rasanya di posisi w...terikat dalam jalinan yang ga beresensi buat w,.....kasian???jangan...jangan kasian ma w...kata" tu hanya buat w semakin terpuruk in d' black hole..nambah banget rasa bersalah w,coz basicnya dari kata kasihan tu lah awal dari semua ni..!! so i decided ,i forced to save about u in my empty pocket....i did it...so please dont ask me why....cause i dont have the reasons... I treat u like he treats me as well.i'm not imitation my past but i'm also according to sample it.sorry i dont mean it..... and u should have know that i'm not a marbel,alabaster or anything else..so please dont think that i'm holy one's in ur imagine...!! it's made me so angry for more...!!! it's was so difficult when i tried to say "dear...how have u been doin??u know dear... i hate this relationship.." for me,it's likes to solve physics question with used to algeber formula...hhaha....too much...!!
WELL....Bener banget..buat w,kalo bisa w analogikan...seperti mencoba menyelesaikan soal fisika yang g w ngerti dari dulu dengan ngegunain rumus aljabar..!!! nah loh..gimana bisa???hanya orang bego ajah yang nemu jawabannya..w c' ga begitu bego amat...w cuma so innocent dikit,...ingat dikit kok..tu pun dalam situasi tertentu...!!! Raii...what's the problem???i really unknown what's goin on to u....why it's that sad lookin' in ur eyes..??hmmph...this time i realize that i'm not a good person...why????is everybody perfects raii???absolutely...no...!!! some people pernah nglakuin kesalahan yang sama kok,bahkan mungkin lebih fatal dari yang lo lakuin... be calm...it's natural kok..!!! But somehow....pardon me ma'am....i didn't carry out my duty(as a daughter) the way i should... i regreted....i know i had a large sins...here my confession..
W pecundang kan??? w hanya bisa ngaku disini ajah...itupun w ga berani ungkapin semua,malah ga jelas kan??lo juga ga ngerti kan what i'm tryin' to say???hahahhh..pa lagi w??w hanya pengen tulis...w ga peduli akh..lo semua pada mo ngerti ato ga juga...yang penting w udah tulis pa yang pengen w tulis...!!...w ngerasa di bodohi ma gairah sesaat z....di telanjangi ma kelakuan w yang memalukan..ooouh.......!!!
my big enemies is my silliness.i hate all the way about stupidity..but why i'm playing with it???dan w benci da disini...terbujur kaku dalam sudut-sudut bisu.May be i'd better to leave this fuckin place before to vomit up my junk food.so i'm running to lookin' for my self.who am i???i said....i am???what i'm thinkin'...dan w harap w bisa menjadi pemberani kaya w yang dulu mirip ma saILOrmOOn...huhuuu....
Gusti.....dear God....show me a good way for my own.....
rainame24
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